This is how I imagine things go when I try and speak Spanish, based on the bizarre looks/borderline hostile body language I get back. We’ll do it all in English just to get the joke across.
Welcome all! Cue the curtains. And turn off your damn phone.
Scene 1: with character, Me and character, Citizen hoping to be left alone. I will be Me.
Me: Excuse me sir, how are you today?
Citizen hoping to be left alone: only nods, already wishing I would leave him alone.
M: You know what I can take bus for the is street 59?
Chtbla: scrunches face slowly for a 15 full seconds. What?
M: Ah, I must say it differently and more slowly. Sorry. Flash a smile. Which you know bus I can drink for street 59?
Chtbla: My request ever-so-slowly sinks in. Maybe a full minute has passed, hard to say. YessiryoucangrabthebusthatsaysSINAandtakeittostreet35thentaketheotherwithstreet190onthefronttostreet59…
M: I caught none of that. I hate my life. Possibly you can say this little bit a slower? Thank you.
Chtbla: Character now visibly doesn’t like me and his demeanor seems to imply a request to leave this country and never return. Yes, I said, you…can…take thebusthatsaysSINAandtakeittostreet35thentaketheotherwithstreet190onthefronttostreet59…
M: Quick, act like like you understand so you don’t look dumb in front of this total stranger! Flash an even bigger smile! Ah perfect, much thank you sir, great day you have, yes?
Chtbla: Briefly shows the fakest smile to ever grace the Western Hemisphere and walks off, his dislike for gringos amplified by a minimum of 7-10%. Or that’s how it seems to me.
Cue the curtains. Start sweeping up the popcorn. This is more or less my experience almost every time I speak to a stranger.